


Panty Raid

by Carbon65



Series: B's get degrees [5]
Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Do not post on another site, Fluff, Gen, Laundry day, Rule 63, Shenanigans, Underwear, female!Spot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 16:42:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20392867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carbon65/pseuds/Carbon65
Summary: Nothing is right when your underwear is too tight





	Panty Raid

**Author's Note:**

  * For [therudestflower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/therudestflower/gifts).

Hiya, Kath.” Spot is standing at the small counter in their room, dancing like a kid with ants in her pants.

“Hi.” 

Kath drops her bag by the door of their room and flops into the expensive mid-century modern arm chair her mom had bought at Christie’s last year. Kate has a tendency to buy things and send them to her daughter without consulting Kath. Hell, Kate has a tendency to buy things because she can. She’s not sure that she should be treating a piece of furniture that costs a semester’s tuition the way she does, but fuck it, it’s a chair. It’s not even a comfortable chair.

Spot continues to shift her weight, and look around for an escape.

“What happened?” She tries to keep the exhaustion out of her voice. 

It’s been a long day. Her father called, again, the second time this week. Her dad never calls. Her editor wants her to do a piece about some wiz-kid EvoDevo freshman who published a paper in Nature Genetics. And like, she wants to do science journalism, she does. But, it’s hard to not be jealous of a wiz-kid freshman who’s getting papers in Nature anything. The last research paper Kath wrote ended up on Professor Weisel’s desk and got returned with a B- and a suggestion from his TA, Oscar, that Hemmingway was wrong and she should probably write sober, too. And, then, as if it wasn’t a bad enough day, the dining hall was serving something inedible and the only cereal they had left was cinnamon toast crunch. She loves cinnamon toast crunch, but not as much as she loves being a functional human being. 

Her roommate dances over to their mini fridge and pulls out a tub of hummus, which she tosses and Kath’s head. She grabs a box of the light blue Almond crackers, and lobs them in the same direction. Because Spot is a genius.

“I ummm… eat your lunch.” Spot tactfully doesn’t mention that it’s somewhere closer to dinner time. Or happy hour, depending on what side of the AARP membership line you fall on.

“I swear, I don’t know why I pay for it.”

“Because you have to if you live in the dorms. And you don’t know how to cook.”

“...Right.” 

She knows she’s not supposed to talk with her mouth full, but its not like she didn’t watch Spot and Charlie attempt to out Chubby-Bunny each other last weekend while Rosie and her girlfriend Sarah cheered them on and Lou threw marshmallows at Racer’s head. Charlie has brought new and interesting friends into their lives. Kath hopes he and Spot don’t break up, because she’s pretty sure Spot would get her and Charlie would get Blink in the break up, and that just wouldn’t be fair to Mush. And Mush is just like the best human being and should have good things happen to them. 

“You’re not going to break up with Charlie, are you?”

Thankfully, Spot is used to her. “Not because he managed to recite the Declaration of Independence around seven full sized Marshmallows and Sarah’s nerd brother listed and said it was right, no. …”

“How did you…?”

“Hummus, Kitty. More hummus, less plotting about my love life.” Spot shifts again.

Kath fishes for another cracker. “Do you need to go to student health?” She puts on her best nurse voice, dredging up the oldest student health joke in the book. “Could you be pregnant?”

“I listened to the nuns, Kath, abstinence is only 99.99999% effective.”

That startles a laugh and a spray of cracker crumbs out of her. 

“I, ummm… I umm, fuck. It’s laundry day. Can I umm… can I borrow a pair of panties?” Spot spits out.

“A pair of panties?” The request strikes Kath as absurd.

Spot shrugs. “These are umm… these are my last pair. And, they have a hole.”

“A hole,” Kath repeats.

Spot makes a motion indicating the location, wincing. “I don’t know how people go commando! It feels…” Spot’s face spins her tale of discomfort, itching, pulling, and woe.

Katherine sympathizes, she does. She’s never particularly worried about the last pair of underwear laundry day problem. She sends her clothes out and has about twice what she needs, even if they’re nto always comfortbale. Still… she and Spot are different sizes. Not like can borrow eachother’s pants with a belt different sizes, either. Different sizes, period. 

“No, you may not borrow mine,” She decides. “No, but… I think I can play sugar mama again this month. Where do you want to go?”

“Target. Or, wait, if we go to Costco, do I get a jumbo sized pack?”

Kath pulls up her phone. “Costco has a 10 pack of granny panties, or a six pack of boyshorts.” 

Spot makes a face.

“I like boy shorts!”

“I like not picking my underwear out of my ass,” Spot retorts. “Let’s go to Target.”

There are a grand total of five Target floor plans across the country. Kath knows, her family has a tendency to travel and during her rebellious teenage years, she had a tendency to go to big box stores. Her cousins might have done the whole reality TV thing, but she’d been a minor and mostly managed to avoid having her face splashed across every TV set in America. Her mom had tried to shelter her - to shelter them - and that had included avoiding body guards as much as possible. Which meant that Katherine would figure out how to navigate the local bus - or usually just find a taxi service and call them - and disappear into the suburbs, white floors, neat aisles, and the faint smell of popcorn. 

“What about those?” She points to the promiantant panty display of microfiber hipsters.

“Would you like your underwear with a side of bacterial vaginosis?” Spot demands.

“I knew that microbiology gen ed was a bad idea…”

Spot glares. “You’re the one who decided to print out eight articles on vaginal flora and the risk of sexually transmitted viral infections, not me.” _This is _youfault.

“It’s so cool, though! LIke, the fact that you can predict --”

“Oh! Look, they have ten packs!” Spot grabs the cart and drags them down an aisle where there are in fact, 10 packs of rolled up underwear.

Kath holds up a pack. “White, high waisted?”

“I want cotton briefs, not granny panties!”

“You sure? They look super comfortable,” Katherine half teases and half muses. Actually… they kinda of do look comfortable. 

Spot throws a package of hipsters into the basket: eight for $10. She pauses, glances shyly at Kath, and then throws in another pair.

Kath studies the basket, and then pulls up her bank account. She totally can… should she? “These are cheap. Do you still volunteer at that drop in shelter in Brooklyn?”

“The Lodge?” Spot makes a semi inscrutable face.

“Should we…?”

Spot gets a wild look in her eyes. “Only if we get to buy boxers, too!”

After that, there is really only one solution: a massive shopping cart, several bottles of detergent (because Spot insists that underwear are only good if you can wash them, and that everyone always needs more detergent), pads, tampons, razors, ibrofeun… and a family sized bag of twizzlers (Spot) plus fun-sized butterfingers (Kath). Oh, a box of rose to fortify her for the prospect of a phone call home to explain the Great Target Panty Raid.

Oh well, they’re only in college once, right? And, it’s not like her siblings didn’t do stupid shit, either. Herbert’s panty raid involved actually stealing them, so, this is better, right? Yeah, this is better.

**Author's Note:**

>   1. I don't know what that was 
>     * rudeflower said she wanted more college AU on the same day I had a bad underwear day. I’m sorry. My brain is a weird place.
>   2. the thing about vaginal flora contributing to HIV susceptibility is [real](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/01/180125230357.htm). You’re welcome 
>   3. Panty raids were a real thing where I went to college (although were not practiced in my day.) The men's school (back when there were separate school) would go to every dorm and collect all the boys and then they'd run the mile down to the women's dorm chanting "panties! panties! panties!" and a nun would bar the door while girls threw down their underwear with their phone numbers. The US is weird, y'all. 
>   4. Questions, Comments, Concerns, or suggestions about ways to procrastinate more all welcome!


End file.
